Several weeks ago, Shannon Sharpe said we’ve become a very cynical society. How ironic, considering he makes his living expounding on the faults and blunders of losing sports teams and falling (sports) stars.

Am I being too cynical? Probably.

But I agree with Mr. Sharpe. We are very cynical, and we seem to be proud of it. And that’s a problem because cynicism is more vice than virtue.

Incessant Bickering

I can still recall hearing my dad’s frustrated voice as he scolded me and my brothers for our “incessant bickering.” Maybe your parents called it something else, but I’m sure we weren’t unique. Someone would say something and immediately be rebuffed with mockery, or a proof of their mental inferiority, or at least chuckle and a roll of the eyes. Sensitive to the insult, retaliation ensued. Voices would raise and an argument quickly raged.

And dad had enough of it. But cynicism and criticism are tough little critters to remove from adolescents. So dad had more than enough of it for several years.

Then and Now

Did I just grow out of that adolescent behavior, or did I work to suppress and control that nasty tendency to cut people down? Let’s just say it’s an ongoing development.

Honestly, I’m not very good at vocalizing my cynicism. It sounds much cleverer in my head. But just because I don’t voice it doesn’t mean it’s not loud and clear in my mind.

And just because I don’t say it doesn’t mean I don’t listen to it on the internet, social media, radio or podcasts. There are many people who are very good at unleashing cynicism. They can chop up a poor fool and have us crying laughing. We know it’s low-down how they are berating so-and-so, but it is so funny! And, after all, they deserve it.

But isn’t it strange how we experience pleasure mocking someone else’s pain? People get rich off it. Isn’t it strange that we experience pleasure cutting people down? The things we say can be downright humiliating. But they’re true. But they’re funny. And people like hearing it. And it needs to be said. Right?

But it’s more vice than virtue.

Arrogance

Could it be that the root of cynicism is arrogance? Possibly even insecurity? Our natural tendency is to believe and trust. Children prove this. But over time children discover not everyone can be trusted. Not everyone has their best interests in mind. So, distrust becomes a tool for survival. It protects us from uncomfortable and harmful people and situations.

“Fool me once, shame on me,” the saying goes.

That’s insecurity.

But then we discover it can also be an offensive weapon. Not just a shield, but a sword. Or a drone. Or a hypersonic missile if we get really good at it. Combined with a good meme and a couple of emojis, we can do some spectacular damage.

I see through the lie. You are an idiot. I’m smarter and better. And I’m going to prove it by wiping you off the map.

Arrogance.

Cynicism’s Casualties

Insecurity and arrogance are a dangerous mixture. Together they burn down relationships and demoralize people. How cruel a weapon is that?

Anyone can be a cynic. Anyone can roll their eyes and scoff. Cynicism is not a sign of intelligence. Sure, you may not be gullible, but keep it up long enough and you may not have any friends either.

It is not heroic. It is not admirable.

If you are like me (and most of society, apparently), I challenge you to take inventory of your responses. The ones you say and the ones you don’t say. If you start to notice a habit of cynicism, criticism and sarcasm, ask yourself how that actually helps people become better and builds a healthy society? And don’t be cynical. Does that create harmony, or does it make you look like me and my adolescent brothers?

Maybe I can arrange a phone call between you and my dad. I’m sure he could tell you who you are acting like.

Who is this for?

By now you may be wondering, “Geez, who is he mad at?” I hope I’m not coming off as passive-aggressive: complaining about somebody who hit me with a one-two punch of cynicism. That’s not the case.

Really, I’m writing this as I reflect on Memorial Day. The multitudes of men and women who gave their lives to establish and protect the American Dream, the American Cause, fighting for and defending liberty and justice for all.

Unfortunately, there is no shortage of voices smugly criticizing our government and accusing it of manipulating impressionable minds to make them fight and sacrifice for its own selfish goals of control and domination. Isn’t that what the great sage Ozzie Osbourne’s song “War Pigs” is all about (See? There I go being cynical again)? But he’s not the only one.

“The rich...”

“The wealthy…”

“The 1%…”

“They…”

But if “they” are that evil, then I should feel guilty for enjoying the freedom, peace and progress I experience daily. How strange: cynicism robs me of my gratitude and replaces it with dis-ease and unhappiness.

Does cynicism build or tear down? Does cynicism encourage or discourage? Does it inspire or despair? Is it a virtue or a vice?

Cynicism eventually turns you into what you accuse everyone else of being: self-centered and selfish. It reduces your world down to you looking out for you. What a miserable existence.

Instead of cynicism and sarcasm, choose to believe in people. Exercise caution when necessary and appropriate, yes, but learn to recognize and restrain negativity and pessimism. Instead of being a naysayer, give someone a good word. Express gratitude for another’s actions. Think of ways something could go right and the many different ways people’s live could improve or have improved because of that event or situation.

And remember, if you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say anything.

TL,DR

Deal with your own insecurities and, possibly, arrogance. Once you are in a better place, do something heroic, like using your words and actions to build instead of tear down.

Choosing virtue over vice may even benefit you more than anyone else.